“I want everyone to meet you. You're my favorite person of all time.”

“Cassel, she said, you want to know how to be the most charming guy anyone's ever met? Remind them of their favorite person. Everyone's favorite person is their own damn self.”

“People who are going to get along really well know it almost as soon as they meet. You spend a little while talking and everyone starts to feel this conviction, you're all equally sure that you're at the beginning of something good. That's how it is when you meet people you're going to be with for a long time.”

“NO! Don't force yourself to be alone! If you're alive, you can meet that person, somewhere, someday! The person that will be glad that you're alive! You can't... you can't want yourself to die!! So... live...”

“Treat everyone you meet as though they are the most important person you'll meet today.”

“They [dolphins] are my least favorite member of the animal kingdom. Everyone seems to think dolphins are cute and "intelligent," but they're best described as ugly and impractical. I don't want to come across as insensitive, but show me a person whose intelligence equates to that of a dolphin and I will show you a fucking retard.”