“This wedding is your parents’ fault. They named her Kiley. She was doomed from birth to marry a hunky, fratty premed major.”

“I married Miss Right, but didn't know at the time she had shortened her name from Righteouspainintheass”

“It is wonderful how Virtue turns from dirty stockings; and how Vice, married to ribbons and a little gay attire, changes her name, as wedded ladies do, and becomes Romance." ---From Charles Dickens' Preface to Oliver Twist, printed in 1841”

“I’m an only child, so logically I gave birth to my parents, because if it weren’t for me they wouldn’t be parents at all, they’d simply be a married couple. (Or maybe without me they wouldn’t even have been married!)
”

“The wedding day is perfect for the bride only if she is marrying the best man!”

“She had married him because she felt sage, because she'd had enough pain to last her a lifetime, and because although he had many faults, faults she was aware of before she married him, she knew he wouldn't hurt her.She knew because there was no passion, and the only time she had felt passion, it had come with a price.”