“Most humans are unaware that amidst the Anne Rice devotees and the vampire wannabes, actual vampires use the Net.”

“The only vampires I've ever seen are the Goths trying to get a glimpse of Anne Rice's house, who drink strawberry sodas and tell each other it's blood.”

“She's a self-conscious vampire ... and she goes about using sex as a sort of shrimping net.”

“You bit me on the neck? What kind of a sorry-ass vampire wannabe are you, anyhow?”I grabbed for my dirt-covered purse that lay by my feet. I kept a can of pepper spray in it for protection, or at least I used to. Did I still have it? Did those things have an expiration date? Didn’t matter. If I had to, I’d just use it to bash him over the head.I’m not a wannabe.” He actually had the audacity to look insulted. “I am a vampire.”Psycho, I thought. Total psycho.”

“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.”

“I, Anita Blake, scourge of the undead-the human with more vampire kills than any other vampire executioner in the country-was dating a vampire. It was poetically ironic.”