“Anything that's strange is no good to the average American. If it doesn't have Chicago plumbing, it's nonsense.”

“I have a head for heights it's true, but no stomach for the depths. Strange then to have plumbed so many.”

“You're a very difficult person to manipulate, you know.""Nonsense," he said. "You just have to promise me that I won't have to do a thing, and then I'll do anything you want.""Anything?""Anything that doesn't require doing anything.""That's nothing, then.""Is it?""Yes.""Well, that's something.”

“Art needs a proper climate. The average Frenchman is no more artistic than the average American, that's for sure. But the French climate is good for art, because in France an artist isn't expected to earn as much as a stockbroker. He is justified in his existence even if he is just a little artist. He doesn't have to be Picasso. he counts as a necessary human factor although he hasn't reached the very top.”

“An excellent plumber is infinitely more admirable than an incompetent philosopher. The society which scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity, and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity, will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.”

“Statisticians report that television is watched over six hours a day in the average American household. I don't know any fiction writers who live in average American households. I suspect Louise Erdrich might. Actually I have never seen an average American household. Except on TV.”