“Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.”

“You may have noticed we have no sex lives. As a result there's lots of chocolate in this house.”

“Maybe you don't like your job. Maybe you didn't get enough sleep. Nobody likes their job; nobody got enough sleep. Maybe you just had the worst day of your life. You know there's no escape and there's no excuse, so just suck up and be nice.”

“Just throw it all and live like there's no tomorrow.”

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,Love like you'll never be hurt,Sing like there's nobody listening,And live like it's heaven on earth.”

“Now his children are getting old too, like him, and they have children and nobody wants the old man any more and they are waiting for him to die. But he don't want to die. He wants to keep on living even though he's so old and there's nothing to be happy about any more.”