“A girl's legs are her best friends... but even the best of friends must part.”

“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing...”

“Beauty may only be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.”

“Even good girls have secrets, ones even their best friends must guess.”

“Entering the foyer, Royale already decided that he would thank Shake once more for being by his side at Keena’s recital. But she stunned him by eagerly waiting for him just like old times—on her knees wearing only a collar and a leash.”

“Pastor McFucking Bride this . . . Pastor McFucking Bride that. Fuck him!”

“And the game of dominoes is much like life: You gotta play the bones you’ve pulled. It don’t matter if you got seven doubles in your damn hand.”