“This is the unluckiest day I've had since my rich uncle changed doctors.”
“I've been in the Bible every day since I've been the president.”
“I've loved you ever since that day you broke your slate over my head in school.”
“I've had good moments scattered since then, times when I thought I was better, but that was the last day I felt triumphant.”
“And if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle.”
“After I heard that I had had a heart attack, how I lived in my body changed, and my doctor should have found a way to let me know he recognized that.”