“How Many Lumberjacks Does it Take to Ravish, Maim and Kill Five Feisty Female Co-eds?Read 'Lumberjacked' by Rich Bottles Jr. to find out!Lumberjacked: A Supernatural Tale of Murder and Mayhem in the Mountain State.”

“Sometimes I write about the forest, sometimes I write about the trees, and occasionally I’ll write about the lumberjack. Actually, the lumberjack is more the editing part, figuring what needs to be cut.”

“I blinked deliberately, expecting my eyelids to act like lumberjacks. But the trees would not fall.”

“Neither sleet nor rain nor a half inch of snow will compel me to dress like a lumberjack.”

“If I get pulled over on the short drive between here and my house I'll have to say, "I had only two beers in two hours, officer, but then I made out with a lumberjack. You know how it is.”

“The entrance hall was designed to impress. The floor was a buttery cream-colored marble and the walls were paneled in dark wood. I'm not a lumberjack, so I had no idea what kind of wood it was, but it looked expensive.”