“Physics is to math what sex is to masturbation.”

“Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.”

“Virtual sex, no matter how realistic, was really nothing but glorified, computer-assisted masturbation.”

“Pornography, in my opinion, has been much misunderstood, for it doesn't develop sex fiends and send them roaming alleyways - it is an anodyne for the sexually oppressed and unrequited, for what is the aim of pornography if not to stimulate masturbation? And surely masturbation is the pleasanter alternative for men "on the muscle," as they say in horse-breeding circles.”

“Warning: This book contains graphic language, sex, lies, intrigue, clowns, kleptomania, anal sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, bad driving, good cooking, and the missing head of a Justin Timberlake statue. Not for the sour of disposition.”

“Sex is like math. add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide your legs, and hope you don't multiply." Yannie-gator46”