“After everything I've been through, the last thing I'm going to apologize for is my paranoia.”

“But I want to assure you, if it’s your last day on earth, even after 2,000 years, I strongly suggest you go for the Versace leaf halter dress.”

“Oh, I apologize, Padre. I said ‘you will see.’ I forgot that you can’t, in fact, see. So I apologize, but only for the slip of the tongue. Because you and I both know your infliction is something for which the Landlord alone is responsible.”

“When Carri died, I felt like I had lost everything, except my life, and my memories of her. Now I can’t even dream of her...”

“She knew breaking up with Ethan was going to be a full-time job because being in a relationship with him had also been a full-time job.”

“Every second I stand here in your temperature-controlled cell,” Jenna said, “I’m forced to suck down the same recycled air that’s going through your nostrils, and that thought absolutely nauseates me.”

“I believe that on any trip to heaven, there are always detours through hell.”