“Oh Christ. Put me back with the zombies, Strawberry Shortcake." [p. 411]”

“Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just now rode into town and it's a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right?”

“Are you asking because you want to see if doc can turn you into a librarian when all this is over?" [p.240:]”

“Enemies will kill you with a knife in the back. Friends will kill you with kindness. Either way you're dead.”

“The clerk is looking at me. His expression hasn't changed. What I want to do is punch a hole in the front of the desk, reach through, grab his balls, and make him sing The Mickey Mouse Club song. But these days, I'm working on the theory that killing everyone I don't like might be counterproductive. I'm learning to use my indoor voice like a big boy, so I smile back at the clerk.”

“They can talk shit about each other behind the others' backs, but when it comes down to it, money is the one true race and everyone down here is the color of greenbacks and as tall as mountains.”

“I don't want to run for anything. I want to shove this miserable cheap-ass check so far up Wells's ass he can read the routing number out the back of his eyes.”