“In your hurry to keep Christmas, you have forgotten Christmas. The truest gift of Christmas is the gift of self.”

“Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.”

“A new star, the Christ child, God's gift to mankind; these are what Christmas is made of.”

“If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birthday is on June 9 or something. Just read up on the traits of a Gemini. Suddenly you're a multitasker who loves the color yellow. Because not only do you get stuck with them combo gift, you get the combo song. "We wish you a merry Christmas - and happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas - happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Ye - Birthday, Terry!”

“It's like getting the best Christmas gift ever, but Santa decided to kick the crap out of you before you unwrapped it.”

“The worst gift I was given is when I got out of rehab that Christmas; a bottle of wine. It was delicious.”