“You know how before you buy a house you hire someone to come check it out and write a homebuyer's report? Someone should do that for husbands. Before you get married, you should have a complete inspection to find out what's broken, if it's fixable, and how much it will cost to repair.”

“That's what's wrong with you. All your beaux have respected you too much, though God knows why, or they have been too afraid of you to really do right by you. The result is that you are unendurably uppity. You should be kissed and by someone who knows how.”

“You should be kissed and by someone who knows how.”

“Advice: Don’t wait until someone you have issues with — especially someone you’re related to — gets shot before you work it out.”

“It's like when you're on hold and a recorded voice comes on telling you how much the company values you as a customer. Really? Then maybe you should hire some more support people so I don't have to wait thirty minutes to get help.”

“I think you should really really be sure you love someone + that they love you back before you get into a relationship.”