“There are all kinds of writers. The best writers write children's books.”

“Librarians lend people books from the library. The best librarians are children's book librarians.”

“Artists paint pictures. The best artists paint pictures for children's books.”

“I'm not interested in creating a book that is read once and then placed on the shelf and forgotten. I am very happy when people have worn out my books, or that they're held together by Scotch tape.”

“There are two kinds of people who sit around all day thinking about killing people...mystery writers and serial killers. I'm the kind that pays better.”

“I had written all I was going to write, if the truth had been known, and there is nothing wrong with that. If more writers knew that, the world would be saved a lot of bad books, and more people--men and women alike--could go on to happier, more productive lives.”

“There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people: psychopaths and mystery writers.”