“Darren, everybody cries when they get stabbed. There's no shame in that.”

“Where silver webs of spiders weaveand blighted lovers take their leave;where curses lay the spirits lowand mortal footsteps fear to go.Where death holds life in grim embraceits line's etched on the sinner's face;where e'er the march of time is flauntedVoices cry- "this place is haunted.”

“There's no excuse for a dull book, a dull museum, or a dull speech. Especially when dealing with history—the most fascinating subject I know.”

“Why are you crying?''How can I possibly look good to you? I'm pregnant! I'm really, really pregnant!''Of course you are. Why are you crying?''Because I'm going to Hawai'i!''Yes, you're going to Hawai'i. Come on now, pull yourself together.'I kept crying. Darren looked frantic. He stepped back and fumbled for his roguish smirk. 'So, is this a hormone thing?''No, it's not a hormone thing! I'm old, Darren! I'm old and pregnant, and I'm going to Hawai'i. Can you understand how that makes me feel?'He could not. How could I possibly expect my husband to understand all the bizarre things that happen to a woman in spirit and flesh when a friendly alien takes over her body? He still couldn't figure out why Laurie and I wanted to fly all the way to Hawai'i just to spend a week lounging around the pool, comparing underarm flab, when we could stay home and have the same conversation over the phone for a lot less money.”

“Watch my sword, not my face!'he said. 'I'm going to stab you, not bite you!”

“It did not last long. It is only in the movies that knife fighters stab and miss and slash and miss and tussle over several city blocks.”

“The keys to life are running and reading. When you're running, there's a little person that talks to you and says, "Oh I'm tired. My lung's about to pop. I'm so hurt. There's no way I can possibly continue." You want to quit. If you learn how to defeat that person when you're running. You will how to not quit when things get hard in your life. For reading: there have been gazillions of people that have lived before all of us. There's no new problem you could have--with your parents, with school, with a bully. There's no new problem that someone hasn't already had and written about it in a book.”