“He has no right to threaten my boyfriends. I'm eighteen. An adult. I don't need his help. I can threaten my boyfriends myself.”

“Most fathers don't threaten to disembowel their daughter's boyfriends." "That's not true. And anyway, that's not what I actually said. It was much worse.”

“Heaven help me, but I wanted my professor to be my boyfriend.”

“I closed my eyes and resigned myself to the fact that my boyfriend was a pervert. He was lucky he was so cute.”

“Ethan and I are done," I said finally."I'm sorry.""He was my first boyfriend.""I know.""The only real boyfriend I've had. I'm a senior in high school and he was my only real boyfriend.""I know.""And I won't find another one at Jones Hall. That is guaranteed.""Okay.""This is all very sad and tragic," I said.Alan unwrapped a sleeve of Smarties. "Yet, oddly, you don't seem that upset.""I know.”

“You're the best, most understanding boyfriend in the whole wide world." He sighs and returns my hung. "No I'm not," he says, pressing his lips to the side of my head. "I'm the most WHIPPED boyfriend in the whole wide world.”