“I closed my eyes. “Seth—”"And when I was there and Erik sent me wherever he did, I felt…well, it was beyond anything I’d experienced. At first, I was so confused and disoriented. I didn’t get what they were saying about finding you. It seemed surreal. Then, it was the easiest thing in the world. I just looked for you, and there you were. In all that space and all that chaos, reaching you was like looking into myself. We were so close…it defied physics and every rule of nature I knew. It didn’t seem real that I could be together with anyone like that.And when it was over, it’s like I said—I wasn’t sure what I’d just been a part of. But I knew that I had never experienced any bond like that with any other woman. Maybe you’re the only one, maybe there’s another…but regardless, I didn’t have it with Maddie. She’s amazing. I do love her. But in that situation again? I would never find her. And I knew it wasn’t fair to lead her into a life without that connection. You and I…I don’t understand what’s between us, but I’d rather spend my life alone than with someone who isn’t you.”

“How did you find out?” he asked. I dropped the coat I’d been holding. “How do you think? She told me. She couldn’t wait to tell me.”He sighed and sat on the arm of my couch and stared into space.“That’s it? You have nothing else to say?” I asked.“I’m sorry. God, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean for you to find out like this.”“Were you ever going to tell me?”“Yeah...of course.” His voice was so sweet and so gentle that it momentarily defused the anger that wanted to explode out of me. I stared at him, looking hard into those amber brown eyes. “She said...she said you didn’t drink, but you did, right? That’s what happened?” I sounded like I was Kendall’s age and suspected I wore the pleading expression Yasmine had given Jerome.Seth’s face stayed expressionless. “No, Thetis. I wasn’t drunk. I didn’t drink at all.”I sank down into the arm chair opposite him. “Then…then…what happened?”It took a while for him to get the story out. I could see the two warring halves within him: the one that wanted to be open and the one that hated to tell me things I wouldn’t like. “I was so upset after what happened with us. I was actually on the verge of calling that guy…what’s his name? Niphon. I couldn’t stand it—I wanted to fix things between us. But just before I did, I ran into Maddie. I was so…I don’t know. Just confused. Distraught. She asked me to get food, and before I knew it, I’d accepted.” He raked a hand through his hair, neutral expression turning confused and frustrated. “And being with her…she was just so nice. Sweet. Easy to talk to. And after leaving things off physically with you, I’d been kind of…um…”“Aroused? Horny? Lust-filled?”He grimaced. “Something like that. But, I don’t know. There was more to it than just that.”The tape in my mind rewound. “Did you say you were going to call Niphon?”“Yeah. We’d talked at poker…and then he called me once. Said if I ever wanted…he could make me a deal. I thought it was crazy at the time, but after I left you that night…I don’t know. It just made me wonder if maybe it was worth it to live the life I wanted and make it so you wouldn’t have to worry so much.”“Maddie coming along was a blessing then,” I muttered. Christ. Seth had seriously considered selling his soul. I really needed to deal with Niphon. He hadn’t listened to me when I’d told him to leave Seth alone. I wanted to rip the imp’s throat out, but my revenge would have to wait. I took a deep breath.“Well,” I told Seth. “That’s that. I can’t say I like it…but, well…it’s over.”He tilted his head curiously. “What do you mean?”“This. This Maddie thing. You finally had a fling. We’ve always agreed you could, right? I mean, it’s not fair for me to be the only one who gets some. Now we can move on.”A long silence fell. Aubrey jumped up beside me and rubbed her head against my arm. I ran a hand over her soft fur while I waited for Seth’s response.“Georgina,” he said at last. “You know…I’ve told you…well. I don’t really have flings.”My hand froze on Aubrey’s back. “What are you saying?”“I…don’t have flings.”“Are you saying you want to start something with her?”He looked miserable. “I don’t know.”

“Wasn’t that kind of the basis of passion? I didn’t know that either. The only thing I knew for sure was that this kiss had been a lot like the last one. Nice, but it didn’t blow me away. My heart sank. There was something wrong with me. Everyone was always going on about how socially inept I was. Did it extend to romance as well? Was I so cold that I’d spend my life never feeling anything?”

“There were definitely parts of my character I didn’t approve of, and maybe from time to time I had moments when I didn’t like myself much. But I got through each day as it came to me, and so far I’d survived every thing life had thrown at me. I could only hope that the survival was worth the price I’d paid.”

“Ms.Mutou-I was told to write a last will, but…But even if I had possessions that were worth passing on, I have no family to give them to,So I wrote a letter to you, like always..I never could have imagined how shocked I’d been…When I first saw you at the prison.The truth is, I’d been looking for you.On that day that my brother died and I was left alone,Even you disappeared from the television screens…I looked for you…I looked and looked…But I couldn’t find you…I’d forgotten about it…So when I saw you here at the prison…I thought that perhaps…God truly did exist…Thanks to the Thursday that I spent with you,I knew for the first time how it felt to be happy.It was something I couldn’t obtain living by myself…It felt like I understood why people live their lives mingling with others…I won’t put a brave front…And tell you to forget about me, and live your life without letting your past hold you back…I want you to remember me.Just you-…That there was a little person like me…You told me once that even though there was someone you hated enough to want to kill, you were afraid to do it and stopped.I don’t think that you stopped because you were afraid, but rather that you were brave.If I had also done so…Perhaps I could have said to you the word that I could never say…Words…That I haven’t said once…Not since I was born…Probably…Ever since then…Ever since then…I’ve loved you…Live.Even if it’s only for a day…And please find a way…To be happier than anyone else…”

“His voice dropped to a low murmur, and he leaned down so that he was almost whispering in her ear. “You see, there’s this woman.”She wasn’t going to look at him. She wasn’t.“Normally, one might say that there was a beautiful woman—but I don’t think she qualifies as a classical beauty. Still, I find that when she’s around, I’d rather look at her than anyone else.” He set two fingers against her cheek, and Minnie sucked in a breath. She was not going to look at him. He’d see the longing in her eyes, and then…“There’s something about her that draws my eye. Something that defies words. Maybe it’s her hair, but I tried to tell her that, and she told me I was being ridiculous. I suppose I was. Maybe it’s her lips. Maybe it’s her eyes, although she so rarely looks at me.”