“I sighed and stared off without any particular focus. "I miss him so much.""I'm sorry," she said."Will it ever get better?"The question seemed to catch her by surprise. "I...I don't know.”

“Sage," he said. "What are you wearing?"I sighed and stared down at the dress. "I know. It's red. Don't start. I'm tired of hearing about it.""Funny," he said. "I don't think I could ever get tired of looking at it.”

“and afterward, after it was done, it was too much, and I felt like I was going to... I don't know.... explode, and it was just too much, I had to let it out you know? I had to-I interrupted her hysteria It's okay, I understand.That was a lie. I didn't get her cutting at all. She'd done it sporadically, ever since the accident and it scared me each time. She'd try to explain it to me, how she didn't want to die - she just needed to get it out somehow. She felt so much emotionally, she would say, that a physical outlet - physical pain - was the only way to make her internal pain go away. It was the only way she could control it.”

“I don't suppose," I said, once we were in the car, "that she just gave you the job based on looks alone?" Adrian had been staring off but now flashed me a big smile. "Why, Sage, you sweet talker." "Thats not what I meant! What happened?" He shrugged. "I told the truth." "Adrian!" "I'm serious. She asked me what my greatest strength was. I said getting along with people." "Thats not bad," I admitted. "Then she asked what my greatest weakness was. And I said, 'Where should I start?'" "Adrian!" "Stop saying my name like that. I told her the truth. By the time I was on the fourth one, she told me I could go.”

“I don't suppose that she gave you the job based on looks alone?"Adrian had been staring off but now flashed me a big smile. "Why, Sage, you sweet talker.""That's not what I meant! What happened?"He shrugged. "I told the truth.""Adrian!""I'm serious. She asked me what my greatest strength was. I said getting along with people.""That's not bad." I admitted."Then she asked what my greatest weakness was. And I said, 'Where should I start?'""Adrian!""Stop saying my name like that. I told her the truth. By the time I was on the fourth one, she told me I could go.”

“I have to get back there." I said to Adrian. "Into that door."He arched an eyebrow. "What, like sneaking in? How very black ops of you. And oh, you know— dangerous and foolish.""I know." I said, surprised at how calm I sounded as I admitted that. "But I have to know something, and this may be my only chance.""Then I'll go with you in case that guy comes back," he said with a sigh. "Never let it be said Adrian Ivashkov doesn't help damsels in distress.”

“Do not do that again," he said stiffly."Don't kiss me back then," I retorted.He stared at me for what seemed like forever. "I don't give 'Zen lessons' to hear myself talk. I don't give them because you're another student. I'm doing this to teach you control.""You're doing a great job," I said bitterly.”