“Sleep with Seth Mortensen? Good grief. It was the most preposterous thing I'd ever heard. It was appalling. If I absorbed his life force, there was no telling how long it'd be until his next book came out.”

“When did I say I'd never leave?" "In your sleep, it was the most comforting thing I'd heard in so long.”

“Oh God," I groaned, "Seth Mortensen just said 'fucking' out loud. The end of times are near.”

“Leah: "That is easily the freakin’ grossest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Yuck. If there was anything in my stomach, it would be coming back."Seth: "They are vampires, I guess. I mean, it makes sense, and if it helps Bella, it’s a good thing, right?"Leah and Jake stare at Seth.Seth: "What?"Leah: "Mom dropped him a lot when he was a baby."Jake: "On his head apparently."Leah: "He used to gnaw on the crib bars, too."Jake: "Lead paint?"Leah: "Looks like it."Seth: "Funny. Why don’t you two shut up and sleep?”

“There's no sense forcing yourself if you don't feel like it. Tell you the truth, I've had sex with lots of guys, but I think I did it mostly out of fear. I was scared not to have somebody putting his arms around me, so I could never say no. That's all. Nothing good ever came of sex like that. All it does is grind down the meaning of life a piece at a time.”

“Kill me, Doug. Just kill me now. Put me out of my misery.”“Christ, Kincaid, what did you say to him?” murmured Doug.“Well,” I told Doug, “I ripped on his fans and on how long it takes for his books to come out.”Doug stared at me, his expectations exceeded.“Then I said—not knowing who he was—that I’d be Seth Mortensen’s love slave in exchange for advanced copies of his books.”