“Tradition or not, I sometimes thought putting children on an old guy’s lap was already creepy enough. We didn’t need to mix alcohol into it.”

“Children are bad enough--children are rude, selfish, greedy, and unthinking individuals who are unable to distinguish between their own selfish wants and needs and the wants and needs of others. And adults are children with money, alcohol, and power.”

“This isn’t about validation, this is about having someone’s hand to hold when I’m walking through the creepy forest. I really thought of that tonight. Life is sometimes one great big creepy forest, and as much as I love you, we are both getting to the age where each other just isn’t enough.”

“Psf. I'm not an alcoholic. An alcoholic needs a drink. Look here," I explained raising my next shot to her. "I already have one. S therefore, I do not need one. Which makes me not an alcoholic.”

“He was a detective, but he didn’t detect anything. It fell into his lap, already broken,every time.”

“I thought that if I accomplished enough, that somehow I would be let off the hook in the future. Like I didn’t have to keep striving and achieving because I had done that already, and it would add up to being enough.”