“Well, " she replied dryly, "there's no getting around that. And it's not me being nice. It's not even my choice. It's an order from my superiors. " "It still sounds like a pain in the ass for you. Why don't you just tell me where it is and blow them off? " "You obviously don't know the people I work for. " "Don't need to. I ignore authority all the time. It's not hard once you get used to it.”
“It matters to me. That's what you don't get. You can't understand. You can't understand what it's like knowing what I did. That whole time being Strigoi...It's like a dream now, but it's one I remember clearly. There can be no forgiveness for me. And what happened with you? I remember that most of all. Everything I did. Everything I wanted to do.”
“You approve?" I asked, spinning around.He slipped an arm around my waist. "Unfortunately, yes. I was hoping you'd show up in something a lot sluttier. Something that would scandalize my parents." "Sometimes it's like you don't even care about me as a person," I observed as we walked inside. "It's like you're just using me for shock value." "It's both, little dhampir. I care about you, and I'm using you for shock value.”
“I get in that kind of situation all the time, Comrade. It's not a big deal." Anger replaced my fear. I didn't like being treated like a child. "Stop calling me that. You don't even know what you're talking about." "Sure I do. I had to do a report on the R.S.S.R. last year.”
“I threw myself against the bars, so rapidly that even Mikhail flinched. "But I love you!" I hissed. "And I know you love me too. Do you really think you can spend the rest of your life ignoring that when you're around me?"[...]"...All my feelings...my emotions for you...they changed. I don't feel the way I used to. I might be a dhampir again, but after what I went through...well, it's scarred me. It altered my soul. I can't love anyone now. I can't—I don't—love you. There's nothing more between you and me.My blood turned cold. I refused to believe his words, not after the way he'd looked at me earlier. "No! That's not true! I love you and you—""Guards!”
“You act young," he said, "because you are young. But you know things, Roza. Things people older than you don't even know. That day...." I knew instantly which day he referred to. The one up against the wall. "You were right, about how I fight to stay in control. No one else has ever figured that out- and it scared me. You scare me.""Why? Don't you want anyone to know?"He shrugged. "Whether they know that fact or not doesn't matter. What matters is that someone- that you- know me that well. When a person can see into your soul, it's hard. It forces you to be open. Vulnerable. It's much easier being with someone who's just more of a casual friend.""Like Tasha.""Tasha Ozera is an amazing woman. She's beautiful and she's brave. But she doesn't-""She doesn't get you," I finished.He nodded. "I knew that. But I still wanted the relationship. I knew it would be easy and that she could take me away from you. I thought she could make me forget you."I'd thought the same thing about Mason. "But she couldn't.""Yes. And, so.....that's a problem.”
“Nah, you always look good. As for me … well, it's hard to explain. The auras are getting to me. There's so much sorrow around here. You can't even begin to understand. It radiates from everyone on a spiritual level. It's overwhelming. It makes your dark aura downright cheerful.”