“Why on earth would you buy a car like this if you can't drive a stick? There are dozens of cars--new cars--that have automatic transmission. It'd be a million times easier." Adrian shrugged. "I like the color. It matches my living room.”

“Adrian, I'm on a date. Why are you here? On my car?”

“When I counsel people who have been following God’s principles and have reached a point at which they can afford to drive any car that they want, they often ask me, “Rabbi, since my budget is not the problem, how do I know if I have bought too much car?” My answer is that if, when you buy the car, the picture that comes to your mind is other people seeing you in the car, you are buying too much car.”

“Gerry, you peed on Weems’s car!” I shrugged. It seemed like the thing to do at the time.”

“My car rides smooth like I’m driving a cloud. If I park it at your house, I may get rainwater on your living room carpet.”

“Do you ever sing in the car?""Generally not. But I am driving a police car.""I think people would like a singing policeman. Makes life seem more like a musical. Like Foot-tastic.""You can talk for a long time about nothing.""I certainly can, you charming man!”