“[Carter just asked when I became a ram whisperer. Do shut up, Carter]”

“Right now, I could do with a little less "Carter, I need you to" and a little more, "Carter, do what you need to do." Hell, maybe even a little, "Carter, do you need help?”

“Shut up!" Henry says, "You're going to wake up Jerry Rice.""Jerry Rice?" Carter says, covering his mouth with a hand. I don't think I've ever seen Carter laugh so hard."Carter, would you like to be the godfather?" Henry asks. "You know, in case anything happens to me and Woods this week?""Charming," Carter says. "I''d be honored. Does JJ get to be godmother?""Obviously," I say."Can I hold Jerry Rice?" JJ asks. "He''s so cute.""No way, man," I reply. "I don't want to wake that thing up before practice. We'll be late if we have to feed it.""What does it eat?" Carter asks."I have to breast-feed, cause I'm the mom," Henry says, continuing to push the stroller toward the locker room."Actually," I say, "It eats a metal rod, made out of, like, lead. So basically, we're learning how to poison babies.""Radical," JJ says as we approach the gym,”

“Why are they so sad?” I asked.“Well, they’re dead,” Carter speculated.”

“I’ll distract them,” Carter said. “You search. The Trophy room is through there.”“Carter!”But the fool ran off to protect me. I hate when he does that.”

“There’s nothing here,” Carter said.“What do you want?” I asked. “We’ve got wax, some toilet papyrus, an ugly statue.”