“Coach Hedge grumbled as he tended their wounds. “How come I never get invited on these violent trips?”

“I should've blown more stuff up." -Coach Gleeson Hedge”

“Now-what’s our game plan?” Coach Hedge belched. He’d already had three espressos and a plate of doughnuts, along with two napkins and another flower from the vase on the table. He would’ve eaten the silverware, except Piper had slapped his hand. “Climb the mountain,” Hedge said. “Kill everything except Piper’s dad. Leave.” “Thank you General Eisenhower,” Jason grumbles.”

“Naturally, Coach Hedge went ballistic; but Percy found it hard to take the satyr seriously since he was barely five feet tall."Never in my life!" Coach bellowed, waving his bat and knocking over a plate of apples. "Against the rules! Irresponsible!""Coach," Annabeth said, "it was an accident. We were talking, and we fell asleep.""Besides," Percy said, "you're starting to sound like Terminus."Hedge narrowed his eyes. "Is that an insult, Jackson? 'Cause I'll—I'll terminus you, buddy!”

“Coach Hedge yelled,“Thar she blows! Kansas, ahoy!”“Holy Hephaestus,” Leo muttered. “He really needs to work on his shipspeak.”

“Coach Hedge came pounding up the stairs with Hazel at his hooves.“Where are they?” he demanded. “Who do I kill?”“No killing!” Annabeth ordered. “Just defend the ship!”“But they interrupted a Chuck Norris movie!”

“Coach Hedge grunted like he was pleased to have an excuse. He unclipped the megaphone from his belt and continued giving directions, but his voice came out like Darth Vader's. The kids cracked up. The coach tried again, but this time the megaphone blared: "The cow says moo!”