“Coach Hedge grunted like he was pleased to have an excuse. He unclipped the megaphone from his belt and continued giving directions, but his voice came out like Darth Vader's. The kids cracked up. The coach tried again, but this time the megaphone blared: "The cow says moo!”

“Just sit tight. Reinforcements should be here soon. Hopefully nothing happens before-" Lightning crackled overhead. The wind picked up with a vengeance. Worksheets flew into the Grand Canyon, and the entire bridge shuddered. Kids screamed, stumbling and grabbing the rails. "I had to say something," Hedge grumbled. He bellowed into his megaphone: "Everyone inside! The cow says moo! Off the skywalk!" "I thought you said this thing was stable!" Jason shouted over the wind. "Under normal circumstances," Hedge agreed, "which these aren't.”

“Coach Hedge came pounding up the stairs with Hazel at his hooves.“Where are they?” he demanded. “Who do I kill?”“No killing!” Annabeth ordered. “Just defend the ship!”“But they interrupted a Chuck Norris movie!”

“God wasn't giving me a megaphone. He was telling me to shut up. To be still and know.”

“Naturally, Coach Hedge went ballistic; but Percy found it hard to take the satyr seriously since he was barely five feet tall."Never in my life!" Coach bellowed, waving his bat and knocking over a plate of apples. "Against the rules! Irresponsible!""Coach," Annabeth said, "it was an accident. We were talking, and we fell asleep.""Besides," Percy said, "you're starting to sound like Terminus."Hedge narrowed his eyes. "Is that an insult, Jackson? 'Cause I'll—I'll terminus you, buddy!”

“A coach yells at the kid he thinks can improve but the coach will not yell at the kid who he/she knows won't.”