“Dan was thrilled that the second clue had been safely smuggled out of the church in his pants."So, really, I saved the day," he decided."Wait a minute," Amy said, "I climbed onto the roof in the middle of a thunderstorm.""Yeah, but the clue was in my pants.”

“Had that poor Reilly kook really been proud of Levy Pants? He had always said that he was. That was one good sign of his insanity.”

“Whose boys are those with the holes in their pants?"I cringed. How would my grandpa answer such an embarrassing question?"Those are my daughter's children, my grandchildren," Grandpa spoke as if he'd just been asked who had won first place in a foot race or just been baptized into the church."Those pants are very well ironed," the stranger said.”

“Barrons, Jericho: I haven't the faintest fecking clue. He keeps saving my life. I suppose that's something.”

“If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!”

“Wanna hang out for a bit?" "You tryin' to get in my pants now that you know I'm queer?" he asked in an impudent tone. "No!""Yeah.""Yeah, what?""Yeah, I wanna hang out." He smiled over at me.”