“Even Dionysus's welcome-home speech wasn't enough to dampen my spirits. "Yes, yes, so the little brat didn't get himself killed and now he'll have an even bigger head. Well, huzzah for that. In other announcements, there will be no canoe races this Saturday....”

“The god of wine looked around at the assembled crowd. “Miss me?”The satyrs fell over themselves nodding and bowing. “Oh, yes, very much, sire!”“Well, I did not miss this place!” Dionysus snapped. “I bear bad news, my friends. Evil news. The minor gods are changing sides. Morpheus has gone over to the enemy. Hecate, Janus, and Nemesis, as well. Zeus knows how many more.”Thunder rumbled in the distance.“Strike that,” Dionysus said. “Even Zeus doesn’t know.”

“Hello!” The girl in the blood-red dress beamed at Leo. “Are you Dionysus?”There was only one answer to that.“Yes!” Leo yelped. “Absolutely. I am Dionysus.”

“You're Dionysus," I said. "The god of wine."Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say these days, Grover? Do the children say 'Well duh!'?"Y-yes, Mr. D."Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?" You're a god."Yes, child."A god. You.”

“In person, if possible, Anubis was even more drop-dead gorgeous. [Oh . . . ha, ha. I didn't catch the pun, but thank you, Carter. God of the dead, drop-dead gorgeous. Yes, hilarious. Now, may I continue?]”

“If I had my way," Dionysus said, "I would cause your molecules to erupt in flames. We'd sweep up the ashes and be done with a lot of trouble. But Chiron seems to feel this would be against my mission at this cursed camp: to keep you little brats safe from harm.""Spontaneous combustion is a form of harm, Mr. D," Chiron put in."Nonsense," Dionysus said. "Boy wouldn't feel a thing. Nevertheless, I've agreed to restrain myself. I'm thinking of turning you into a dolphin instead, sending you back to your father.”

“There!" Mars finished writing and threw the scroll at Octavian. "A prophecy. You can add it to your books, engrave it on the floor, whatever."Octavian read the scroll. "This says, 'Go to Alaska. Find Thanatos and free him. Come back by sundown on June twenty-fourth or die'.""Yes," Mars said. "Is that not clear?""Well, my lord...usually prophecies are unclear. They're wrapped in riddles. They rhyme, and..."Mars casually popped another grenade off his belt. "Yes?""The prophecy is clear!" Octavian announced. "A quest!”