“Hermes smiled. "I knew a boy once ... oh, younger than you by far. A mere baby, really."Here we go again, George said. Always talking about himself.Quiet! Martha snapped. Do you want to get set on vibrate?Hermes ignored them. "One night, when this boy's mother wasn't watching, he sneaked out of their cave and stole some cattle that belonged to Apollo.""Did he get blasted to tiny pieces?" I asked."Hmm ... no. Actually, everything turned out quite well. To make up for his theft, the boy gave Apollo an instrument he'd invented-a lyre. Apollo was so enchanted with the music that he forgot all about being angry."So what's the moral?""The moral?" Hermes asked. "Goodness, you act like it's a fable. It's a true story. Does truth have a moral?""Um ...""How about this: stealing is not always bad?""I don't think my mom would like that moral."Rats are delicious, suggested George.What does that have to do with the story? Martha demanded.Nothing, George said. But I'm hungry."I've got it," Hermes said. "Young people don't always do what they're told, but if they can pull it off and do something wonderful, sometimes they escape punishment. How's that?”

“It doesn't matter if they hate you, or embarrass you, or simply don't appreciate your genius for inventing the internet-""You invented the internet?"It was my idea, Martha said.Rats are delicious, George said."It was my idea!" Hermes said. "I mean the internet, not the rats. But that's not the point.”

“I gotta say"—Apollo broke the silence—"these kids did okay." He cleared his throat and began to recite: "Heroes win laurels—"Um, yes, first class," Hermes interrupted, like he was anxious to avoid Apollo's poetry.”

“Young people don't always do what they're told, but if they can pull it off and do something wonderful, sometimes they escape punishment. ”

“Even though I've never met my dad and don't really want to, I share some of his talents. Along with being the messenger of the gods, Hermes is the god of merchants-which explains why I'm good with money-and travelers, which explains why the divine jerk left my mom and never came back. He's also the god of thieves. He's stolen things like-oh, Apollo's cattle, women, good ideas, wallets, my mom's sanity, and my chance at a decent life.Sorry, did that sound bitter?”

“Red cattle," Annabeth said. "The cattle of the sun.""What?" I [Percy] asked."They're sacred to Apollo.""Holy cows?”

“What’s the best part of being in Hermes cabin?Connor: You are never lonely. I mean seriously, new kids are always coming in. So you always have someone to talk to.Travis: Or prank.Connor: Or pickpocket. One big happy family.”