“Hey, if you poop on my blankets...""Please. War gods do not poop on blankets..Well except for that one time..”

“I gave her a smile that I hoped conveyed something like: Hey, you know I’m on your side. Gods are such jerks! But what can you do?Probably my expression actually conveyed: It’s not my fault! Please do not kill me!”

“If you look at it from any other side, it looks like a pile of enormous deer droppings, but Chiron wouldn't let us call the place the Poop Pile, especially after it had been named for Zeus, who doesn't have much of a sense of humor.”

“You're Dionysus," I said. "The god of wine."Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say these days, Grover? Do the children say 'Well duh!'?"Y-yes, Mr. D."Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?" You're a god."Yes, child."A god. You.”

“The older lady harrumphed. "I warned you, daughter. This scoundrel Hades is no good. You could've married the god of doctors or the god of lawyers, but noooo. You had to eat the pomegranate.""Mother-""And get stuck in the Underworld!""Mother, please-""And here it is August, and do you come home like you're supposed to? Do you ever think about your poor lonely mother?""DEMETER!" Hades shouted. "That is enough. You are a guest in my house.""Oh, a house is it?" she said. "You call this dump a house? Make my daughter live in this dark, damp-""I told you," Hades said, grinding his teeth, "there's a war in the world above. You and Persephone are better off here with me.""Excuse me," I broke in. "But if you're going to kill me, could you just get on with it?”

“I sat up and the blankets fell away.I looked down and found I was wearing pokemon pajamas."Sadie,"I said,"I'm going to kill you."She batted her eyes innocently."But the street merchant gave us a very good deal on those.Walt said they would fit you."Walt raised his hand."Don't blame me,man.I tried to stick up for you."Bes snorted,then did a pretty good imitation of Walt's voice:"At least get the extra-large ones with Pikachu.”

“Poseidon put his weathered hand on my shoulder. “Percy, lesser beings do many horrible things in the name of the gods. That does not mean we gods approve. The way our sons and daughters act in our names…well, it usually says more about them than it does about us. And you, Percy, are my favorite son.”