“How do I defeat Apophis?”“I’m so glad you asked!” Thoth beamed at me with his multicolored eyes. “Unfortunately, I can’t tell you.”I glanced at Walt. “Do you want to kill him, or should I?”

“Hello Ra," he said in a kindly voice. "It's been a long time." A feeble voice from behind the chair said,"Can't play. Go away." "would you like a treat?" Apophis asked. "we used to play so nicely together. Every night, trying to kill each other. Don't you remember?"Ra poked his head above the throne. "Treat?""How about a stuffed date?" Apophis pulled one out of the air. "You used to love stuffed dates, didn't you? All you have to do is come out and let me devour— I mean entertain you."" Want a cookie," Ra said."What kind?""Weasel cookie."I'm here to tell you, that comment about weasel cookies probably saved the known universe.”

“I held out the painting of the cat and the snake.“It’s a cat and a snake,” Thoth said.Thank you, god of wisdom. You placed it for us to find, didn’t you? You’re trying to give us some sort of clue.”“Who, me?”Just kill him, Horus said.Shut up, I said.At least kill the guitar.”

“You wrote this right?” he said. “It tells how to defeat Set.”Thoth unfolded the papyrus pages. “Oh, dear. I hate reading my old work. Look at this sentence. I’d never write it that way now.” He patted his lab coat pockets. “Red pen—does anyone have one?”Isis chafed against my willpower, insisting that we blast some sense into Thoth. One fireball, she pleaded. Just one enormous magical fireball?I couldn’t say I was tempted, but I kept her under control.“Since when does drool make you powerful?”

“I sat up and the blankets fell away.I looked down and found I was wearing pokemon pajamas."Sadie,"I said,"I'm going to kill you."She batted her eyes innocently."But the street merchant gave us a very good deal on those.Walt said they would fit you."Walt raised his hand."Don't blame me,man.I tried to stick up for you."Bes snorted,then did a pretty good imitation of Walt's voice:"At least get the extra-large ones with Pikachu.”

“If anyone asks you if you’re taken,” I said, “the answer is yes.”“I think I can live with that,” he promised.“Good,” I said. “Because you don’t want to see me be cross.”“Too late.”“Shut up and dance, Walt.”“Shut up and dance, Walt.”We did—with the music of a psychotic griffin screaming behind us, and the sirens and horns of Brooklyn wailing below. It was quite romantic.”

“Menshikov wants to see the old gold swallowed by Apophis. He wants to see the world plunged into darkness and chaos. He is quite insane."Oh."[great response, I know. But what do you say to a story like that?]”