“Julius told me how much you’d grown, but I couldn’t believe it. Carter, I bet you’re shaving—”“Mom.”“—and dating girls—”“Mom!” Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?”

“Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?”

“I don't believe professional athletes should be role models. I believe parents should be role models.... It's not like it was when I was growing up. My mom and my grandmother told me how it was going to be. If I didn't like it, they said, "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out." Parents have to take better control.”

“Ooh that’s him!” my mom cried jumping up and down.“Why don’t you date him, mom? You seem to really like him,” I smiled.She stopped jumping. “Oh, I couldn’t. He’s much too young for me,” she laughed wickedly and went to get the door.“Haven’t you ever heard of cougars!” I yelled after her. Sloane and her mom Tammi”

“I want to know about my mom. And other stuff. I want to know the whole story, good or bad.”“Me, too,” said Gazzy. “I want to find my parents so I can tell’m what total scuzzes they are. Like, ‘Hi, mom and dad, you’re such scum!”

“One time Mom told me the people you can be quiet with are the onesyou are the most comfortable with.”