“Our baboon was going completely sky goddess - which is to say, nuts.”

“Agh-uhh!” the baboon grunted. He turned and waddled up the stairs. Unfortunately, the Lakers jersey didn’t completely cover his multicolored rear.”

“You are one freaking awesome baboon.”

“It knew that the earth goddess intended on razing all human civilization, and this city, which had stood ffor thousands of years, was saying back to her: You wanna dissolve this city, Dirt Face? Give it a shot.”

“The baboon is driving,” I noted. “Should I be worried?”

“Lookin up at the huge baboons, I wondered if Khufu had some sort of secret baboon code that would get us in. But instead he barked at the statues and cowered heroically behind my legs.”

“That was so completely unfair that I told Tantalus to go chase a donut, which didn't help his mood.”