“Spontaneous combustion IS a form of harm, Mr. D," Chiron put in.”

“If I had my way," Dionysus said, "I would cause your molecules to erupt in flames. We'd sweep up the ashes and be done with a lot of trouble. But Chiron seems to feel this would be against my mission at this cursed camp: to keep you little brats safe from harm.""Spontaneous combustion is a form of harm, Mr. D," Chiron put in."Nonsense," Dionysus said. "Boy wouldn't feel a thing. Nevertheless, I've agreed to restrain myself. I'm thinking of turning you into a dolphin instead, sending you back to your father.”

“Mr. D, wearing his leopard-skin jogging suit and rummaging through the refrigerator.He looked up lazily. "Do you mind?"Where's Chiron!" I shouted.How rude." Mr. D took a swig from a jug of grape juice. "Is that how you say hello?"Hello," I amended. "We're about to die! Where's Chiron?”

“And there, shimmering in the Mist right next to us, was the last person I wanted to see: Mr. D, wearing his leopard-skin jogging suit and rummaging through the refrigerator. He looked up lazily. "Do you mind?"Where's Chiron!" I shouted.How rude." Mr. D took a swig from a jug of grape juice. "Is that how you say hello?"Hello," I amended. "We're about to die! Where's Chiron?”

“If you'd sat there any longer,' Annabeth said, 'you would have spontaneously combusted. I hope the conversation was worth it?”

“Mr. D," Grover asked timidly, "if you're not going to eat it, could I have your Diet Coke can?”

“You're Dionysus," I said. "The god of wine."Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say these days, Grover? Do the children say 'Well duh!'?"Y-yes, Mr. D."Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?" You're a god."Yes, child."A god. You.”