“We'de have to get in and get out the hard way; and if we made a mistake, there was no telling what sort of curse we'de unleash: monster guardians, plagues, fires, exploding donkeys(don't laugh; they're bad news).”

“God knew our lives would be really bad sometimes. Like maybe we'd be turned into a monster and then our best friend would get killed. So he made up this story about hell, so we could always say, 'Well it could be worse. It could be hell.' And then we'd keep going.”

“There is something fundamentally wrong with the way we normally live our lives and we'd sort of like to find out what it is.”

“That night on the Swan we'd promised each other that we'd have some sort of romance. Something unprecedented. "We don't have to be like other people," she'd said, and I'd believed her.”

“The bad news is we don't have any control.The good news is we can't make any mistakes.”

“We'd be the safest country in the world if the world knew we didn't have a gun. Men are not killed because they get mad at each other. They're killed because one has a gun.”