“Do what you haven't done is the key, I think.”

“I think movies are getting dumber, actually. Where it used to be 50/50, now it`s 3% good, 97% stupid.”

“I was always amazed about how much I could finally squeeze into a thirty second commercial.”

“What do you care more about? The kids or your hair?”

“But, it’s not what they think of you that matters, it’s what you think of yourself. If I’d said something mean to them, I wouldn't like myself very much.”

“What is that in his hand?""A cleaver. As in-""Butcher's knife.""You got it.""I hope not.""He does not look happy.""Are you sure it's a he?""I don't want to know.”

“I... do... not... do... lightning.”