“I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.”

“Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.”

“When I met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always”

“When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.”

“A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.”

“I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.”

“I never panic when I get lost. I just change where it is I want to go.”