“I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.”

“I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

“How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?”

“I never panic when I get lost. I just change where it is I want to go.”

“I don't panic when I get lost. I just change where I want to go.”

“I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.”

“My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married adn I didn't want him to.”