“In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.”

“Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.”

“I never panic when I get lost. I just change where it is I want to go.”

“I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. ”

“When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?”

“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.”