“My mother buried three husbands...and two of them were only napping.”

“Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.”

“When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.”

“Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.”

“My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives.”

“My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.”

“When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?”