“Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.”

“My mother buried three husbands...and two of them were only napping.”

“I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.”

“My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives.”

“My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.”

“Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.”

“When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?”