“When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?”

“A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.”

“I never panic when I get lost. I just change where it is I want to go.”

“I don't panic when I get lost. I just change where I want to go.”

“My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married adn I didn't want him to.”

“My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.”

“I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen”