“When I met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always”

“When I married Mr. Right, I didn’t realize his first name was ALWAYS.”

“When I first met Billy I thought about sucking his eyes right out of their sockets. They’re like turquoise gum drops.”

“His name is Arnold. But you’re not on a first name basis with him, and that’s not his first name. So that’s Mr. Arnold to you. Once you get to know him, he may let you call him by his first name, which is Grafmiller. His middle name is his wife’s maiden name: Maiden. Their maid’s first name is Maiden, and her last name is America. Maiden America, though I think she was made in China.”

“When I first met him, he did not care if a friend did not fit into his world, because at that time his world had not been born yet.”

“His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and last names mixed up.”