“The director cleared her throat just a few shots in. “Um, so, is there anything you can do about that, Mr Cavendish? This is not an X-rated publication…”James, shameless bastard that he was, seemed completely unfazed. “You’ll just need to shoot me waist up. You were the one who wanted my girlfriend in the shot, putting her hands on me. What did you think was going to happen?”

“I elbowed James as he shot my army guy in the head yet again. “This game is so sexist,” I complained. “I can’t believe that there isn’t even an option for me to play as a girl.” “Do you think that if you were playing as a busty blonde it would distract me?” James asked, amused. “It couldn’t hurt.” He tossed his controller on the ground. I gave a little embarrassing shriek as he tossed me over his shoulder. “We’re done, guys. Buttercup wants to distract me. Consider me distracted.”

“In private, though, you may call me Mr. Cavendish”

“We can do this as many times as you want, Mrs. Cavendish.”

“On a scale of one to ten, what was he?""How would, 'I want him to fuck me to death, and he just might', rate on that scale?”

“Now, now, Auntie, you had better play nice with my dearest Bianca. I have not invited her to live in one of my homes. I have welcomed her into all of them. And though I know it would break your heart if anything were to ever happen to me, you will be beholden to this angel to cover your living expenses when I pass away, as she will be my sole inheritor.”

“The only way you could be good in bed for me would (be) if you became a complete person, not just some shell of a man that doesn't have a middle ground between putting women on a pedestal and degrading them with meaningless sex.”