“By reading this, you’ve given me brief control over your mind.”

“God is like a search engine — He is willing to answer your requests, but you must ask Him the right questions.”

“Life is like a box of cookies: it's good while it lasts, but before you know it, it's gone.”

“God gave us free will so that we might choose our own destinies. He left it up to us to achieve them.”

“We go to school so that when we grow up we can make lots of money, and we make lots of money so we can provide for our children, and we have children to provide for our retirement (because we don’t have any money left).”

“Only people are worth dying for.”

“Sometimes changing the world is as simple as changing the way you look at it.”