“In some circles, admitting you love Top 40 radio is tantamount to bragging you gave your grandmother the clap, in church, in the front row at your aunt's funeral, but those are the circles I avoid like the plague or, for that matter, the clap.”
“For those of you in the cheap seats I'd like ya to clap your hands to this one; the rest of you can just rattle your jewelry!”
“Those of you in the cheaper seats can clap your hands, and those of you in the balcony can just rattle your jewelry.”
“The wider you spread your fingers apart while clapping is equal to the amount of retarded you look while clapping.”
“My name is Skippito Friskito. (clap-clap)I fear not a single bandito. (clap-clap)My manners are mellow,I'm sweet like the Jell-o,I get the job done, yes indeed-o. (clap-clap)”
“On top of everything else, Boobie's got the clap.”