“If Satan should ever replace God he would find it necessary to assume the attributes of Divinity.”

“It would take centuries and he must grow and grow and grow, but he was in no hurry--he grokked that Eternity and the ever-beautifully-changing Now were identical.”

“You have attributed conditions to villainy that simply result from stupidity.”

“I will accept any rules that you feel necessary to your freedom. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.”

“Come Judgment Day, we may find that Mumbo Jumbo the God of the Congo was the Big Boss all along.”

“He was finding it ruinously expensive to be rich.”

“God made alcohol and he made feet - and he made 'em so you could put 'em together and be happy!”