“Live and learn, or you don't live long.”

“May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.”

“Women and cats do as they damned well please, and men and dogs had best learn to live with it.”

“Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.”

“People who are busy and happy don't write diaries; they are too busy living.”

“If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people. -- Lazarus Long.”

“Cast me into a dungeon;, burn me at the state, crown me king of kings, I can 'pursue happiness' as long as my brain lives -- but neither gods nor saints, wise men nor subtle drugs, can insure that I will catch it.”