“The Bible tells us to be like God, and then on page after page it describes God as a mass murderer. This may be the single most important key to the political behavior of Western Civilization.”

“The vast desire and capacity a woman has for intimate relationships tells us of God's vast desire and capacity for intimate relationships. In fact, this may be The most important thing we ever learn about God--the He yearns for relationship with us. "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God" (John 17:3). The whole story of the Bible is a love story between God and His people. He yearns for us. He cares. He has a tender heart.”

“The blank page is God's way of letting us know how hard it is to be God.”

“I studied every page of this book, and I didn't find enough love to fill a salt shaker. God is not love in the Bible; God is vengeance, from Alpha to Omega.”

“What is the most valuable thing on earth? It’s not the Hope Diamond, or the National Treasury. It’s not a Picasso collection, or the Microsoft fortune. It is the wisdom of God, seen in the pages of your Bible. You’ve had access to it all along.”

“Tell me my copy is missing the last twenty pages or something.Hazel Grace, tell me I have not reached the end of this book.OH MY GOD DO THEY GET MARRIED OR NOT OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS?!”