“Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.”

“New York - The city where the people from Oshkosh look at the people from Dubuque in the next theater seats and say "These New Yorkers don't dress any better than we do.”

“After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year.”

“Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.”

“There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children.”

“The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.”

“There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.”