“Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one”

“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.”

“There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.”

“I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.”

“Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.”

“One, two, three / Buckle my shoe.”

“The free-lance writer is one who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.”